reconnection

there are times in our lives when people, places, and even things flow away from our grasp. be it with work, family, kids, errands, chores, pta, organization, hobbies or whatnot we all cycle through things. the good thing about this ebb and flow is that things come back into view.

i had such a reconnection with an old friend today. our relationship changed awhile back, shifted from what it had consistently been for quite some time, and then everything else just got in the way of redefining the relationship and maintaining it. the good thing about this friend (and she would say the same about me) is we know that our lives are crazy, that we are messes half the time, and that its okay. we know where the other is and when in desperate need, we know the other will be there. when we have time and can sit down and talk for hours and hours, find the good swing again, that's when its just wonderful and you know all is right with the world. your world.

my mother always said that if you could count the number of friends, good friends, you had one one hand then you were doing pretty well. i've always been able to do this. those friends changed places, moved off the hand, back on, etc.. but i know who they are. i would both walk through fire and jump in front of a bullet for them. i know they would do the same for me. that is what makes them all so wonderful, so close to my heart, such good friends.

life throws so much at us. we are bombarded from the moment we rise with demands, tasks, schedules, and the clock. its nice when we have people in our lives that understand this, give us our space, and reach out when they need to reconnect or we reach out to them.

the golden ticket for me is they are always there. no time, no space cancels that connection. from here to alaska, to texas, to california, to ohio, to england, - those friendships remain. those people are there for me and me for them.

i love my friends. each and everyone on.

unwelcome change, unmotivated girl

i like helping people. i'm a problem solver and when someone comes to me with a problem, i do my best to fix it for them. (i have to note that whenever i hear the phrase 'fix it' my brain immediately wanders to this SNL skit).

i am tasked with a lot of different things in my life, some i like, some i don't, and some i just cannot wrap my brain around. the latter because i have a strong dislike of performing a task, making a change, etc..just because someone thinks its a good idea. good ideas are great, i try to come up with them all the time. the problem lies is when someone thinks their idea is good, when it is not. this is when i get into trouble. i try to give my case, show how this is not a great idea, try to turn things in a different direction, but when someone has their agenda you are not going to stop them.

change for the sake of change is not something i support. i just can't get behind something that really has no real purpose except for making the appearance of changes, to say "look we changed this" when all you did was slap a new font on something. i'm all for change when it benefits something, when you know that you are really going to get something out of it. just to change something because someone thinks up something while in the shower, not my style. especially when that person (or persons) does not really understand (or want to) what it is that i do (or what anyone does for that matter).

so here i am, procrastinating, digging my heels in the dirt, and saying, "I don't wanna!". this is not very smart and does not make me any friends. i don't have the motivation to get this done. i have all the knowledge of what to do, how to do it, but no motivation. i can't get behind something with my all when i see no benefits.

i don't really know the point of this insane rambling, but its just something that i'm dealing with and it weighs on me nightly so maybe tonight i can sleep a bit better just knowing i put some of this out there.

delurk yourself

i got this idea from the tattooed mama, but i'd like to know who is reading my blog that are not blogger followers..if any!

so if you read my blog, comment NOW!!

festivus for my dad

today is my father's 53rd birthday. he's nursing a broken wrist from falling down during a pick up basketball game with friends. i feel really badly for him that he's having to celebrate his day in such pain. this is no way to celebrate his festivus. we all call it that, the days before and after his birthday. i don't know how long we've been joking about this, but its just become this thing.

tonight our family will gather around him to celebrate what a wonderful man he is. i'm proud of my dad for so many reasons. he's just an amazing person.

happy birthday, daddy! i love you.

an old pic of me and dad from '99

squeezed out of time

so the whole "goals" thing went by the wayside like two weeks after i tried starting it. i let my life go in full speed more often than it should. as ferris bueller said, 'Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.'


so i need to slow down and chill. that means i need to get back to my goals. this week has been torture on me though - i went from extreme high of finally feeling like i've found a better direction at work to crashing down around me today after an impromptu meeting. after that, sinuses attacked, eyes watered, face hurt, and i went home. the two things i wanted to accomplish (my two classes) did not happen - once due to ill planning (um, forgot shorts) and today due to the onset of sinus-blah. but those classes are important to me and like many other things, they should be priority.

so i got home, took a minute to recoup, then started thinking more about my priorities. then i started making valentine's with the kid and realized how much i miss doing that stuff with her. we spend so much time during the week just trying to get through the day that we fail in taking time to create, have fun, just laugh. she and i laughed tonight as we created her valentine's box and she drew pictures for family. it was a GOOD night. such a good night that she stayed up an hour late and of course in doing that she is totally wired. what is that about?

so back to goals.. this weekend is going to be about having fun and enjoying my family. that's the goals .. nothing like "do this", "do that". its all about enjoying them. i don't want to miss anything!

you are my sunshine

its such a freaking b-e-a-utiful day outside! being indoors is just WRONG! i'm normally all, "i like the winter" but after the week of hell last week, this is a welcomed changed! its helping my mood tremendously. i'm super organized and raring to go today, but still can't focus on what i should :) i think i'm just uber-giddy so i don't want to be all grumpy with the tasks at hand. yeah, that's my reasoning.

i promise i'm going to get back into my groove and start posting some riveting blogs soon. yeah, they will be award worthy i'm sure ;)

life is good. many plusses today:

+ great night at the movies last night
+ sunshine
+ yum lemonade
+ great mood
+ great good-bye kiss from husband-guy
+ kid has swimming (she LOVES swim days)

i think today should continue on being awesome.