Slave to the Grind

there is something to be said for a routine.  its nice when all your ducks are in a row, when you know exactly what you should be doing.  however, lately i'm sick of my ducks and want someone else to put them in a row for me.

i feel like everyday is the same with only slight adjustments. i feel like all i do is pick up after other people and no one picks up after me or themselves. i get tired of schlepping shoes to the front door, picking up game controllers, books, or random socks day to day. i get tired of waking up and having to do this, that, and the other before i can even think about doing something for me.  i hate having to clean constantly to keep the house looking decent. perhaps this is why after my two day cleaning spree for the husbands birthday party, i've ceased doing anything.  the sink is piled with dishes because i have zero desire to unload the dishwasher.  the laundry room is piled high with loads to wash, dry, and put away.  i'm sick of it.  i went through this feeling a few weeks ago, it passed briefly but wow is it back with a vengeance.

i want someone else to be responsible for doing the dishes after i cook dinner, or even when i don't.  i want someone else to worry about the laundry some days.  i just want to stop wishing and want it to be a reality that i don't have to do it alone.

i am so tired when i get home from work that i have no desire to keep on going, but i have to.  i have no choice.  well i guess i do, but then the whole house, kit and kaboodle go to the crapper. 

so tonight i can look forward to laundry, dishes, and probably some vacuuming!